Listening: The Drugs Don't Work by The Verve
Last night brought another bought of catatonia, the second time this week in a row. Apparently it's more common in people with autism and mood disorders, which makes sense because I am autistic and possibly bipolar. I have my therapy appointment today at noon. Maybe I can bring mention this, so I can get tips on what to do the next time it happens — because it's really scary: not being able to move, not having control over my own body, my voice, and everyone seeing me losing touch with reality.
Another thing catatonia can be caused by is stress. Yeah, that's true for me. S. has been a bitch lately, and so I stay up late trying to make sure she's not bullying Jay. Incidently S. is the one who was witnessed both of my catatonic episodes, which hasn't exactly lessened my dislike of her.
Whatever though, let's not talk about the childbitch. I think I'm entering another depressive episode (as if the catatonia hasn't already shown that). It fucking sucks. I take meds, I go to therapy, but nothing helps. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough or maybe the drugs just fucking suck! I find the latter more likely than the former.