Fuck - Monday, December 9, 2024.

Listening: Waste by Brand New

I've been so angry lately, so annoyed, agitated and irritable. My therapist says I may have bipolar two, and that makes sense — but I can't get diagnosed with anything yet, if I even have anything. I have to wait, endless waiting.

Christmas is overrated. There's nothing anybody can get me that I can't get myself, and the whole family! community! aspect is a bit lost on me right now given my siblings are exacerbating my bad moods so much. I could really just do with a break—

—which is a bit ironic since it is winter break. Only there's no way I can have a break from myself or the way my mind works or from the world, from people, people, people. I just want to be okay. I just want to be able to do what I want without feeling like there's panther of doom tracking my every step. I hate this everlasting anxiety.